Daily Interdimensional Diary: 22 October 2008
God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 9)
Within God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 4), we discussed, ‘pulling the Self Forgiveness through to its completeness.’
As you have seen within the previous document (God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 8)) with which we concluded the Self Forgiveness Process of ‘Pulling the Memory through into and as your Current Reality at this moment’ and identifying the Behavioral Conditioning as Habit. That the Self Forgiveness also consisted of and existed within insights, understandings, and realisations together with the Self Forgiveness of the particular point.
Here, I’ll walk with you through the questions and responses to be asked to assist and support self with insight, understanding and realisation of the particular point for/of which you’re applying Self Forgiveness. Exactly as I walked with you through it in one example in God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 4) – which will, as you walk through it with yourself step by step in asking the questions and responding to them for yourself – you’ll eventually be able to see the insight, understanding and realization in the moment when applying self forgiveness within self honest common sense. You will be able to apply Self Forgiveness together with the insights/understanding/realizations as I expressed in the example of Self Forgiveness in the previous document: God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 8).
Here, we’ll again look at the One Final Question compiled from the Question-Process we walked through within the Process of ‘bringing the Memory through into your Current-Reality’ and the Response example we looked at.
From which we’ll do Self Forgiveness only related to what has been written within the Response to the One Final Compiled Question. From where we’ll walk through the Questions and Responses to assist and support self with the insight/understanding/realisation of that which has been applied Self Forgiveness.
This is done to assist and support self within the process of ‘pulling the self forgiveness through’ to its completeness, which will ‘lead to’ preparing the way before self within practical self corrective action here in the physical; of that which has been applied self forgiveness for – to live and express self forgiveness and self corrective action one and equal here.
Let’s begin:
Question:
Within a conflicting / confrontational situation/event:
With who/what particular being/environment that represents an ‘authoritative-stance’ within which I experience myself as the ‘powerless-victim’ ‘without choice or right’ believing myself to be ‘disregarded’ / ‘inferiorized’ as the experience of being ‘hurt’ which causes an automatic, sudden, immediate surge of explosive/culminating emotions/feelings within me – which manifests, for example, the ‘protection-mechanism’ wherein I ‘act out’ as ‘retaliation’ in the emotions/feelings as ‘throwing a tantrum’ and yelling/screaming – doing/expressing exactly that which is being done unto me?
Response:
I immediately, instantaneously react in a surge of emotions/feelings when in a conflicting/confrontational situation with my Mother. Especially in moments when I experience that she’s not hearing me, not listening to what I have to say and not understanding me. No matter how much I attempt/try to express ‘my side of the story,’ she keeps on and continues ‘attacking me’ as though ‘it’s all my fault’ as though ‘I am the problem, the fault’ within it all, giving me no opportunity to explain myself. During this, she manifests her ‘authority’ over and of me, by her claiming she’s ‘right’ and ‘I’m wrong,’which makes me feel like I’m stupid, nothing. That I’m always wrong and she’s always right, no matter what. She continues yelling and raising her voice, pointing her finger at me/slamming the table – the more I express my view – which causes me to go into emotional/feeling turmoil within myself. And at the end – it always turns into a‘fight’ wherein I yell and scream back as my emotions/feelings surge and eventually walk out feeling horrible, angered and frustrated, because I believed that she wasn’t willing to listen to me at all. All she wanted to do was ‘have it all her way. All our conversations end up going this route – starting with confrontation/conflict which ends up us both screaming/yelling at each other, with me in absolute emotional/feeling turmoil as tears of anger and frustration rise up within me and me running off, blaming her for why I’m experiencing myself this way, that it’s her fault. She’s the problem in my life and that I’m the victim in it all. When this happens, I know she’s won, because she got me to tears again.
Self Forgiveness only related to the Response itself (Step by Step):
I immediately, instantaneously react in a surge of emotions/feelings when in a conflicting/confrontational situation with my Mother.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately, instantaneously react in a surge of emotions/feelings when in a conflicting/confrontational situation with my mother.
Especially in moments when I experience that she’s not hearing me, not listening to what I have to say and not understanding me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to especially react in a surge of emotions/feelings when I experience within myself that she’s not hearing me, not listening to what I have to say and not understanding me.
No matter how much I attempt/try to express ‘my side of the story’, she keeps on and continues ‘attacking me’ as though ‘it’s all my fault’ as though ‘I am the problem, the fault’ within it all, giving me no opportunity to explain myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in emotions/feelings when in a conflicting/confrontational situation/event with my Mother, because I experience within me, that no matter how much I attempt/try to express ‘my side of the story’, she keeps on and continues ‘attacking’ me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in emotional/feeling turmoil within myself towards my mother when in a conflicting/confrontational situation/event, because I experience within me as though she’s making it ‘all my fault,’ that ‘I’m the problem,’ the fault within it all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in emotional/feeling turmoil towards my mother when in a conflicting/confrontational situation/event in which I experience her expression towards me as ‘attacking me.’ Because the experience within me, is as though she’s not giving me an opportunity to explain myself.
During this, she manifests her ‘authority’ over and of me, by her claiming she’s ‘right’ and ‘I’m wrong;’ which makes me feel like I’m stupid, nothing. That I’m always wrong and she’s always right, no matter what.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience my mother as ‘authority’ over and of me when I experience her going into ‘attack’ towards me in a conflicting/confrontational event/situation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘stupid’ and ‘like nothing’ when I experience within me her establishing her ‘authority’ by her claiming she’s ‘right’ and I’m ‘wrong.’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself towards my mother in a conflicting/confrontational manner as me as, ‘always wrong’ and her ‘as always right.’
She continues yelling and raising her voice, pointing her finger at me/slamming the table – the more I express my view – which cause me to go into emotional/feeling turmoil within myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within emotional/feeling turmoil when I experience within myself that the more I attempt/try to express my view – my mother starts yelling more, raising her voice more, starts changing in her mannerism/behavior through pointing her finger at me/slamming the table, which only cause me to react within myself even further.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react even further within myself within emotions/feelings when my mother starts yelling, raising her voice, pointing her finger at me or slamming the table, the more I am attempting/trying to express my view – which at that point seems futile.
And at the end – it always turns into an ‘fight’ wherein I yell and scream back as my emotions/feelings surge and eventually walk out feeling horrible, angered and frustrated, because I believed that she wasn’t willing to listen to me at all – all she wanted to do was ‘have it all her way.’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to yell and scream back when the confrontation/conflict situation/event between my mother and I eventually turns into a fight.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when the conflict/confrontation between my mother and I turns into a fight, react and act in and as my experienced surge of emotions/feelings which I express within the manifested expression of me as yelling and screaming.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eventually just walk out, because of the emotions/feelings that surged and manifested within me, within and as which I yelled and screamed becomes too much, and I eventually ‘give in’ because of it; giving up on the entire event/situation and therefore walk out.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk out when in the face of my mother within the experience of myself in a conflicting/confrontational situation/event that turns into a fight.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, after walking out of such a confrontational/conflicting event with my mother that turned into a fight – experience myself as feeling horrible, angered and frustrated, because I experienced within me the belief that she wasn’t listening to me at all, and that all she wanted to do was ‘have it all her way.’
All our conversations end up going this route – starting with confrontation/conflict which ends up us both screaming/yelling at each other, me in absolute emotional/feeling turmoil as tears of anger and frustration rise up within me and me running off, blaming her for why I’m experiencing myself this way, that it’s her fault, she’s the problem in my life and that I’m the victim in it all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the ‘all-knowing’ and ‘already knowing’ that conversations with my mother will end up going the exact same route of starting with confrontation/conflict, which ends up as us both screaming/yelling at each other and me in absolute emotional/feeling turmoil as tears of anger and frustration rise up within me, with me eventually running off.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to already in the beginning of the conversation with my mother, exist in expectation of where it’ll eventually, inevitably lead to, because it happens/occurs/manifests exactly the same way always.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always, when, during and after a confrontational/conflicting event/situation with my mother – react in emotional/feeling turmoil within, which I express/act out through yelling/screaming back which eventually, inevitably lead to me running off in tears of anger and frustration.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always, during a confrontational event/situation with my mother – when my mother starts expressing herself as I experience her as ‘authority’ and starts yelling/screaming – to immediately going into ‘reaction-mode’ within myself as emotional/feeling turmoil and start expressing exactly towards her, as she is towards me, because of what I’m experiencing within me, due to the immediate reaction that take place as the surge of emotions/feelings rise up within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame her for what I’m experiencing within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that she is the cause for what I’m experiencing within me, therefore me blaming her for what I’m experiencing within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience what I’m experiencing within myself as the surge of emotional/feeling turmoil, and me acting out in it through yelling/screaming as being her fault.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience her as being the problem in my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as ‘being the victim’ within it all, because of the experience within me, that she is the cause of everything that I experience within me during such a confrontational/conflicting event with her.
And when this happens, I know she’s won, because she got me to tears again.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience my mother winning and me losing, because of me starting to cry within the surge of emotions/feelings that rise up within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience my mother as ‘winning’, because of me believing that she’s the cause, the problem of me crying/the emotional/feeling turmoil that rise up within me, and because of this – she’s ‘won,’ because I believe that ‘she’s the one that got me to tears.’
Alright, so here we moved through the Self Forgiveness Process, only related to the Point identified as Response, through the Question-Process of ‘bringing the Jack-In-The-Box Memory into and as your current reality and experience of you,’
Herein also an example of the specificity required in the Self Forgiveness Process, as the specificity within the Self Forgiveness, which you’ll see for yourself as we continue, will assist and support within the specificity of seeing the insights/understandings/revelations/realisations of the Self Forgiveness you applied – actually ‘provides.’
Now, we’ll begin with the first sentence that we’ve written in the response together with the self forgiveness applied, and so we’ll move through each one individually with questions and responses – doing this for specific perspective / ‘practice’ for yourself through, within and as examples – to assist and support with the Insight/Realisaton/Understanding/Revelation Process – from where the Self Corrective Action here in the physical originate.
It is suggested to walk through this Process, in regards to a Jack-In-The-Box Memory within the following starting point self-honest understanding:
That your world is a manifested physical reflection of you and that each being in your world currently exist as a ‘part of you’ from which you’ve separated yourself from; and that each being in your world currently, is reflecting that which you’ve separated yourself from within yourself.
Events/situation that manifest/exist in your current world/reality within which you experience yourself a certain/specific way, especially in regards with sudden, immediate, seemingly unexpected surges of emotions/feelings. That such events/situations is revealing/showing manifested acceptances/allowances of beliefs/ideas and definitions of you. That you haven’t self-directed you within, to stand here in self honesty.
Therefore, to take the stance within yourself here in self honesty – within realising that human beings, situations/events that take place within your world/reality – is reflecting you back to you, as what you’ve separated you from and is revealing what you haven’t yet self-directed within yourself here in self honesty.
This Process we’re walking through at the moment, with regards to the Self Forgiveness and the Questions and Responses of the Self Forgiveness Process and the Insight/Understanding/Realisation/Revelation Process of the Self Forgiveness Process applied within the Questions/Responses Process – is to assist and support self effectively to specifically identify that which what is being experienced within you towards your world – is showing/revealing about/of what you’re accepting and allowing you to exist as currently – to from there, assist and support self within the Self Corrective Action Process – to in actuality change here in the Physical.
Within the next Section, we’ll be going through the Insight/Understanding/Realisation/Revelation Process of the Self Forgiveness Process applied in the example we discussed in this document.
Bruce L.
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