Daily Interdimensional Diary:21 October 2008:Part Eight (Section 8)

[Sunette]

Daily Interdimensional Diary:
21 October 2008

God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 8)

Alright, we’ve moved through the Questions, Responses, Assessments and Self Forgiveness of the Memory itself. You will find in walking through the Memory within/through this Method of asking yourself the questions, responding to them and walking through the Memory with self forgiveness – assisting and supporting you in ‘understanding’ the process of practical application together with self forgiveness being lived and applied equal and one as you.

Though, at the moment, we’re only within the Self Forgiveness Process, yet preparing the way before ourselves to the inevitable of living the self corrective action of and as that which we’ve applied Self Forgiveness for, in actuality here in and as the Physical.

What we’re doing here with regards to the Jack-In-The-Box Memory, and what we’ll be doing with each ‘thought-form’ existent within and as the Mind that you exist as, is taking the existence of ourselves in and as the Mind, which is the manifested reflection of ourselves we’ve existed within, pulling it through to the ‘origin’ of ourselves as the actual origin that the ‘thought-forms’ in the Mind reflection of the accepted and allowed manifested existence of ourselves, from within the origin; by standing up physically, practically here in and as the physical itself, and so ‘change’ ourselves physically, practically here as we stand up and change ourselves from within the origin of ourselves through practical self-corrective action.

Herein – no more existing as what we’ve always existed as for eons of time. At the same time, no more existing within and as and of the Mind as the manifested reflection within which we’ve existing in hiding – but to step forth, stand up and face the manifested existence of ourselves, for it is only in the full, entire, complete, absolute revelation of self as what is here – that self can change for certain in definitiveness of self honesty here, and remain so always.

Let’s continue walking…
We’re moving unto the next phase, which is the Questions, Responses, Assessments and Self Forgiveness Process of ‘pulling the Memory through’ into and as your current reality of your current experience of yourself in your reality: The ‘who you are’ at this current moment, which exists according to and as the Jack-In-The-Box Memory itself.

Within God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 3), we have already looked at the particular specific questions to be asked in bringing the Jack-In-The-Box Memory through to your current experience of you at this moment.

Therefore, we will be looking at the questions again. Though this time, of course, with examples together with the Self Forgiveness Process examples – to finally get to the origin that is the ‘behavioral conditioning’ as habit and how to practically assist and support you, to in actuality definitively change.

We discussed, within God of Man: The Physical: Part Eight (Section 3), to begin with Step Two as the Nature of the Physical Action of the ‘break-down’ investigation of the Jack-In-The-Box Memory and from there, incorporate Step One as the Physical Action identified of the Jack-In-The-Box Memory to ‘more specifically’

Before we begin with this Self Forgiveness Process of ‘pulling the Memory through into and as your current Reality and existence of you at this moment,’ we’ll first identify the Nature of the entire Memory in itself that is revealed, which is: Confrontation/Conflict.

From here – you begin with the questions:

Self Forgiveness Process of Step Two, Step One and Step Three of the Jack-In-The-Box Memory, being brought through to ‘Current-Time’:

Note:
I will only being going through the questions with you here to assist and support in the Self Forgiveness process. The specificity and the method of the questions to be asked, has been discussed within the God of Man: The Physical Part Eight (Section 3) document, which I suggest you refer to assisting and supporting yourself with the specificity and method of asking yourself the questions related to ‘bringing the Memory through to your current reality and existence of you.’

We ‘walked through the process of asking the Questions for Step Two alone, then Step One alone, then merging Step Two and Step One’s questions. From there, moving onto asking the Questions for Step Three alone and finally ‘merging’ all Three’s Questions together as One Final Question to be able to specifically determine how the Memory is still dominating your reality, both within and without. I’ll be walking through them with you again, from within a ‘personal-practical perspective’ together with an example:

Here goes:

Question One of Step Two: The Nature of the Physical Action:

What we determined in Step Two is the experience of yourself as the ‘powerless victim’ in the face of ‘authoritative-stance’ as another – and the expression of the ‘authoritative-stance’ towards you as ‘abuse.’

Now you observe you in and as your world currently, and ask yourself the question:

Who and What within my world currently represents an ‘authoritative-stance’ towards whom I experience myself as ‘less than,’‘not considered,’ ‘taken for granted’ and their physical expressions of words or mannerism/behavior causing the emotional/feeling turmoil within me, manifesting the belief of me being ‘hurt’ by them, which manifests the experience of me as being the ‘powerless victim?

Question Two of Step One: The Physical Action:

From here, as we discussed, to ‘more specifically’ be able to identify this particular point, we observe Step One as the Physical Action identified of the Jack-In-The-Box Memory as Crying. Bringing this point into your world currently in observing when, where or towards who you experience an almost immediate automatic reaction as surge of emotions and feelings tumbling inside you and ask yourself the Question:

Towards whom/what in my world, do I very quickly, almost instantaneously/automatically – react towards within myself, in either a ‘flurry of emotions/feelings’ within which I start crying immediately with emotions, feeling suddenly, immediately, automatically rising up within me?
Question Three of Step Two and Step One Merged:

From here, as we discussed, we merge Question One and Question Two together to have a ‘more specific perspective:

Mergence of Questions One and Two:

Towards whom/what within my world that in a moment of an conflicting/confrontational situation, do I experience myself as ‘the powerless victim being abused’ by that which represents ‘authority’ which causes me to almost immediately, instantaneously, automatically react towards within myself in emotions feelings that suddenly, ‘seemingly out of nowhere’ automatically ‘surge up’ inside myself?


Now for asking yourself the question pertaining to Step Three: The Physical Action taken after a ‘conflicting,’ ‘confrontational’ experience within which you were directly involved – through looking at the ‘protection-mechanism’ as ‘defence mechanism.’

The protection mechanism as defence mechanism will reveal as ‘how you deal with/handle’ sudden surges of emotional/feeling turmoil within you when faced within a conflicting/confrontational situation:

Question Three of Step Three: The Physical Action taken After the Event occurred:

How do I deal with or handle sudden surges of emotional/feeling turmoil within me, when I’m faced with confrontation/conflict with another?

You look within yourself as the question and respond:

(Here I am utilizing but one example: )

I retaliate – ‘mimicking’ through ‘becoming’ exactly as the other as what they are doing unto me. I also raise my voice and ‘stand my ground’ in my physical human body within my behavior and mannerism towards them, therefore, doing exactly to them what they’re doing to me.

Last but not least, the step before ‘The Final Step’ within which you will be clearly able to identify the ‘Behavioral Conditioning’ as manifested physical habit that you exist as to place all three steps together in and as one complete question:

Within a conflicting / confrontational situation/event:

With whom/what particular being/environment that represents an ‘authoritative-stance’ within which I experience yourself as the ‘powerless-victim’ ‘without choice or right’ believing myself to be ‘disregarded,’ ‘inferiorized’ as the experience of being ‘hurt’ which causes an automatic, sudden, immediate surge of explosive/culminating emotions/feelings within me – which manifests, for example, the ‘protection-mechanism’ wherein I ‘act out’ as ‘retaliation’ in the emotions/feelings as ‘throwing a tantrum’ and yelling/screaming – doing/expressing exactly that which is being done unto me?

Note:
Understand ‘abuse’ – ‘abuse’ as being ‘hurt, ‘harmed’ by another for example wherein you believe that the other is causing the emotional/feeling turmoil within you. -A manifested belief due to the accepted and allowed existence of you as the definition of you as being ‘a powerless victim,’ and in this belief, creating the other to be the polarity opposite as ‘authoritative power’ of what you’re accepting and allowing yourself to exist as. We will be discussing and ‘going into’ this particular point in ‘more-indepth’ as we continue – but first, we’ll identify the ‘manifested behavioral conditioning’ as habit, from where we’ll originate the CORE ORIGIN of such a ‘manifested behavioral conditioning’ as ‘habit’ and how this core origin of you as what you exist as in and as and through the physical itself, is actually manifesting/creating the experience of you in such situations/events. All because of ideas/perceptions/beliefs of/about you which in turn create ideas/perceptions/beliefs of others as you.

Therefore, in ‘actuality’ – you’re not being ‘abused,’ ‘hurt,’ ‘harmed’ by/through another. Such events and your experience within it and your belief of it, is due to the belief existent of yourself as ‘who you are.’ We’ll be going into this entire manifested construct as we continue in this document of God of Man: The Physical, for the moment – we’re only focusing on identifying the ‘self-manifested behavioral conditioning’ as ‘habit.’

It is suggested within the process of ‘bringing the Memory through into your current existence and experience of yourself in your reality at the moment,’ to go through the Question-Process first as suggested as I moved with you through it – to ‘get to’ the Final Specific Question, to assist and support you to specifically see where, how, when and where such situations/events play-out or manifest in your current world and experience of yourself.

So, from the One Final Question Asked, you respond to yourself in self honesty here, descriptively and as specific as possible:

I immediately, instantaneously react in a surge of emotions/feelings when in a conflicting/confrontational situation with my Mother.
Especially in moments when I experience that she’s not hearing me, not listening to what I have to say and not understanding me.
No matter how much I attempt and try to express ‘my side of the story,’ she keeps on and continues ‘attacking me’ as though ‘it’s all my fault’ as though ‘I am the problem, the fault’ within it all, giving me no opportunity to explain myself.
During this, she manifests her ‘authority’ over and of me, by her claiming she’s ‘right’ and ‘I’m wrong,’ which makes me feel like I’m stupid, nothing . That I’m always wrong and she’s always right, no matter what.
She continues yelling and raising her voice, pointing her finger at me, slamming the table – the more I express my view – which causes me to go into emotional/feeling turmoil within myself.
And in the end – it always turns into a‘fight’ wherein I yell and scream back as my emotions/feelings surge and eventually walk out feeling horrible, angered and frustrated, because I believed that she wasn’t willing to listen to me at all. All she wanted to do was ‘have it all her way.’
All our conversations end up going this route, starting with confrontation/conflict which ends up us both screaming/yelling at each other, me in absolute emotional/feeling turmoil as tears of anger and frustration rise up within me and me running off, blaming her for why I’m experiencing myself this way, that it’s her fault, she’s the problem in my life and that I’m the victim in it all.
And when this happens, I know she’s won, because she got me to tears again.

From here, you begin assisting and supporting you within Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my mother as ‘authority’ as ‘power.’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my mother as the ‘authoritative power’ in and as my world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as the ‘powerless victim’ when facing my mother in a conflicting/confrontational situation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a ‘powerless victim’ towards the definition I have formed of my mother as being the ‘authoritative power.’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘go into’ immediate, instantaneous and automatic emotional/feeling turmoil the moment I experience my mother acting out her ‘authoritative power,’ which makes me experience myself as the ‘powerless victim,’ because of my experienced reactions of surging emotions/feelings.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is my mother’s fault and that she’s to blame and the problem which cause the emotional/feeling turmoil that surge up within me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that the emotional/feeling surging coming up suddenly, automatically – only exists because of the perception of me as being the ‘powerless victim’ and the perception I have formed of her as an ‘authoritative-figure’ as the polarity opposite of what I experience within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘standing up’ and ‘not accepting being treated the way I am with my mother’ – is me retaliating and rebelling as an attempt to fight against what she’s expressing towards me by doing exactly to her what she’s doing to me, through mimicking/copying her expression towards me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise – that if I attempt to fight against something, I create resistance and in that resistance, I will ‘lose,’ because I am making the statement that ‘I need to fight against that which I believe is more than me.’ And thus will manifest as ‘that which is I believe is more than me’ ‘having power over me’ – against which I will lose.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘play the game’ of ‘win/lose’ in the manifested participation of me in a conflicting/confrontational situation/event, which in essence is a game of ‘win/lose’ as a game of ‘inferiority’ / ‘superiority.’
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that in accepting the belief that my mother isn’t listening to me, or hearing me or understanding me, that I will manifest this in my world and thus she can’t listen, can’t hear or can’t understand
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to consider that this experience within me of her not listening to me, or hearing me or understanding me – is showing me, that I’m not hearing, listening or understanding myself or her as myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self responsibility for what I experience within me – unto my mother, through blaming her, making her the cause, the problem for what exist and is experienced within me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see the gift of such moments – as ‘who I am’ in a conflicting/confrontational situation/event with my mother – has got nothing to do with my mother, such situations/events is merely showing/revealing/reflecting me back to myself in showing/revealing to me – what I am accepting and allowing inside myself – which at the moment, is revealing that I blame, judge and justify my emotions/feelings existent within me, through pointing fingers at something or someone else, to not have to face me within myself.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that such conflicting/confrontational situations/events is revealing/showing my true nature as what I accept and allow myself to exist as.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am being ‘attacked’ by my mother when she raises her voice and change her mannerism/behavior into and as an authoritative stance and starts yelling/screaming at me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that I can only experience her expression towards me as an ‘attack,’ because of my accepted and allowed definition of me as being a ‘powerless victim’ being ‘under attack’ – according to my accepted and allowed polarity-opposite definition of her as being the ‘authority-power’ over and of me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that I can only experience her expression towards me as an ‘attack’ or ‘being attacked’ – if I exist within and as the manifested expression of me as ‘defence’ – defending myself against attack
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that I can only exist in the manifested expression of/as defence if I believe that there is something of me that is being ‘threatened.’
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that the only manifestation within me, of me, that can experience being ‘threatened’ in a confrontational/conflicting situation/event is a personality-design of mind consisting of and existing as a self-definition, that a definition of me is being ‘attacked’ and ‘threatened’ which I believe I must defend.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that it’s seemingly so easy to blame, point fingers as the cause of my experience being that of another outside of me – instead of self honestly noting my participation within it all within my accepted and allowed starting-point existence, and that such confrontational/conflicting situations with my mother – is all reflecting me back to myself exactly, precisely.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that in me mimicking the expression of my mother towards me, through me doing/expressing/becoming exactly towards/as her as she is towards/as me – is me showing me = that I am exactly as my mother – no different.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that I’m actually attempting to/trying to ‘fight myself’ – therefore, I will experience ‘loss’ – because it’s impossible to ‘fight myself’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as inferior/less than my mother, because I end up in tears/emotional/feeling turmoil while she remains seemingly stable, and this angers and frustrates me even further.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise, that the anger, frustration and irritation I project towards her, is actually what I’m experiencing within myself towards me.


From The One Final Question asked – you will be able to determine, as has been discussed, the manifested ‘behavioral conditioning’ as ‘habit’, which I suggest you write down as follows:

ASSESSMENT:
My identified ‘manifested behavioral conditioning’ as ‘habit’:

I go into immediate ‘reactive-resistance-mode’ when in a conflicting-confrontational situation with another, and believe I must ‘defend myself’ because of the accepted and allowed perception/belief of being ‘attacked’ as something of me being ‘threatened.’

This ASSESSMENT I’d suggest also writing within a different colour, as we’ll be ‘returning’ to this ASSESSMENT as we continue within the Process of the manifested influence of the Memory within your current reality and experience of yourself.

The same as the NOTE we made in the beginning of the Self Forgiveness Process where we started applying self forgiveness for/of the Physical Action as Crying identified of the Jack-In-The-Box Memory, wherein the NOTE consisted of the Practical Corrective Application in the Moment of the experience.


Within the next document, we’ll continue with the Self Forgiveness Process and finally to the Self Corrective Action Process.

Bruce L.