blog 1
Hospital was an experience once more for me to be written down in this blog . I usually do not like hospitals . People go there to die . On Friday afternoon my mom drove me in because I was feeling severe intense pain just above my heart . The pain had been there for about 14 days but on the left side of my back in hight of my heart . From Wednesday over Thursday it became more intense and it moved forward into my chest . I was suffering hard from that . Movement was hell and breathing became more difficult as the hours went by . Inhaling/Exhaling , directing my mind into the core of the pain was possible for me , but there , I did not know how to handle it . It was simply everywhere and actually still is . Equaly to that a big rash develloped on the left side of my back at the place where my heart is with a radius of about 15cm which itched and burned. So on friday my mom begged me to go into hospital to have let it checked and so we drove there ,
The doctors kept me there to test my blood, do x-rays, ultrasound, sonography, electrocardiogram and exercise ECG. I luckily didnt get any vaxienes. If, I would have rejected any kind of needle. Except of vitamins and anti-inflammatory painkilliers which the docs gave me I consumed only the meals.
Nothing could be found . It was all in best order they said eventually . That was yesterday . All in all I stayed there four days .
When I left the room where my clothes were deposited and took a walk through that gigantic unreal looking hospital I realized the unified pain collective which lays over that building like a black cloud . Pain-deranged faces everywhere . What were the causes for all those illnesses , diseases or sicknesses I wondered . May the unified pain collective`s hunger be insatiable there ? May the Pain and the illnesses be a product of those peoples minds ? May those diseases be a mirror of society , Electro-Smog , Exhaust-Gases , Love ?
I met a special person there and listened to him what he said . He was a mid 50s Jamaican , formaly a promoter for music bands and had a small place where bands could play but then all the bad and corrupt economy in this town made him and his location behind the train-station (a big complex with cinemas, bars and all sorts of economical business setups) go bankrupt . Then his illnesses came . A long list of illnesses . But he smiled . He smiled like not even a healthy person would be able to smile .
When I left hospital , to go back home , I exited the building and it happened to be very stormy outside . The sun shone and all the people held there gawns or jackets to defend themselves of that windblow . And then it was gone . I saw him sitting there all alone . Wanting to say goodbye to him or swap a few words in "C U" maneer . I listened to him again . He said this then after I greeted him :
" There has got to be a change made in this world. But we cannot make a change by sitting at home or somewhere, hoping. It is all "§$%/ up as it is . It depends on you and and me and on every other person outthere to make this come true . "
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